Dazzling Perplexity

Uh.

Noah Lee Hammon was born on July 27th 1999, and is the most beautiful human being on the face of this earth. I could not be more proud to be his big brother.
Yesterday was his birthday.... and despite my INTENSE efforts.. my family did not let me see him. (they will burn in hell... rest assured)

^^emotion filled^^

word.

to be continued...

Continuation.....

I'm sick... quite sick to be exact.. and I'm not enjoying it.. I am knocking on death's door, but for some reason.. that bitch isn't home, and wants to let me suffer.

It's been about a week of sickness, and I seriously don't know how I have made it through.

I've been busy lately, with friends, Kristin + John, work, and just keeping on top of things in my life.... I'm burnt out to the extreme.

I smile a lot, even when I'm not happy... but sometimes you can see right through it.....

Seriously... I just searched for cruises online for about an hour, and I really want to go on one... but no one would probably go with me because they would have to pay about 300 bucks.... damn.

and for some reason, I can't seem to think of everything to write on here... so I'm just going to make it pretty colors........... and put up a "to be continued" thing.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Kiss Me in the Pouring Rain....

And We'll Lay in the Street.

kroisstytin (1:58:58 PM): i'm gonna make you a shirt that says
kroisstytin (1:59:15 PM): "i'll do your sister OR YOUR BROTHER"

^^analyze that... please^^

um..... Kristen Heason is a ho! (but I shall forever remain THE HO-SLAP)

so.. wednesday night = extreme blur... very extreme blur.... blech... thursday morning = blah..... thursday night = very much bettah!

Kristin is going to Parker with me next year... which kicks major butt. I had a dream the other night that I got to school, but I lost my schedule... and that the school had like 9 billion floors. That isn't the strange thing.... the strange thing is that I have that dream EVERY YEAR before school... and I haven't ever lost my schedule, specifically because of that. I'm basically crazy.

New Life = One kick butt church.... very nice.
Kristin = corset
Daniel = *spits on ground*
John = Pink eye... "Kristin, do you want to wear her jewels?"
Kevin = Molested by Andrew
Stephanie = S'mores... (don't ask)
Melissa = Crush on Kevin
Jay = ... I was excited to see him.. wtf
Andrew = disgusting
Elizabeth = Awesome new hair..
Julia = I professed my love to her
Everyone else = I can't remember

^^So that was wednesday night.. in a nutshell^^

I need to shave... should be a blast.. :-/ haha.

There is a bobble head turtle on the computer desk.

I get paid today, and that kicks butt... not because I need it... but because I like seeing more money in my bank account. Money is cool..... and smells good (unlike me at the moment).


Daniel James

Breaking Hearts Has Never.....

Looked So Cool.....

To my favorite liar:
I hope you choke, on those words that kissed that bottle... I confess
So bury me, in memory.

I [heart] my job.. but I work non-stop.
Working non stop = cash... so I have cash.

I am going over to my father's house in a little bit.. I have requested Kristin's presence.. and she is going to accompany me. I am going to chat it up with my family there.. (blech).. and yeah.. basically make myself feel like shit.

I'm going to Seattle University... I've made my decision... Nothing will be stopping me from going there... I will do ALL THINGS in my power to attend my dream college. [end-rant]

Sometimes when something good stares you in the face... all you want to do is run away screaming..... and never look back. Why is that?

SB came home... back from Europe.. It is nice to see her again.. and strange at the same time. I'm sure I'll be seeing her boyfriend non-stop again, which I could definitely do without. But I guess it is the price I pay for having an amazing family to live with.

I got my AP Psych exam scores in the mail.. and I got a 4. Not too many people know what that means.. but it made me happy. Happy enough to go buy myself things. I [heart] buying things.

I just ordered a sub online.... it should be here in like.. 12 minutes... and that is flippin sweet.


Daniel James

Slap Me With Your Words.

And Make It Sting.........

My puppy is having a seizure right now, but all I can do is let it run its course...

He's alright now.

I have more money than I normally ever do.... and I should probably just save it for college... but I have the HUGE urge to just spend it on something I want... something big.... I'm getting over that.

I work about 35 hours a week normally... and it's strange... because I like the work... and I dont dread working at all... I'm not used to that.

I got my navel pierced... and it is pretty FLIPPIN SWEET!... it creates a sweet triangle with my nipple rings that I have dubbed "the triforce".. heh.. yeah, I'm stupid.

Speaking of stupid.... I got my ACT scores today. I recieved the shit-tacular score of a 30... granted that puts me in the 97th percentile... I still feel like a retard... I KNOW that I am smarter than that... and I'm just disappointed in myself. It will get me into any college that I would want.... but I still don't like it.

Ah.... the college search.... the neverending pull-my-hair-out quest for the perfect college. I haven't been worried about getting accepted into the colleges of my choice... that has NEVER been a worry of mine... I am worried about finding the right college to fit my needs... and still being able to go there without selling my soul to the devil.
Let it be known that I am poor (not at the moment....I have quite the stash in the bank) but I do not have the money to go to college... I am getting zero help from my parents (obviousely)... and the thought of paying for college gets quite stressful...
All that taken into account... here are my college choices:
Seattle University (Seattle, Washington)
Seattle Pacific University (Seattle, Washington)
University of Washington, Seattle (Seattle Washington)
The Ohio State University (Columbus, Ohio)
The last 2 are basically completely out of my price range... the first two are too expensive as well.. but they are private, and can offer me more benefits and cash. Check them out, and make a suggestion.
I want to go to college in Seattle (as you can see).

Enough with that.

I figured out why it took me so long to sign Kristin's Yearbook.
Signing her yearbook, meant saying goodbye to her. Things will never be as they were this last school year between us. I signed her yearbook knowing this... and knowing that there was a very very good chance that she was not going to come back to school with me. We dreamt of a summer filled with fun times for the two of us... both of us fully aware that we are too busy for our own good. I miss her.

And thats all I have to say about that.

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow.. and it shall be intense... my most intense haircut yet... I'm really excited...


Daniel James

Meh.

Even though I'm a vegetarian, when I eat cold pizza... I pick off the meat, and pretend it was never there.

His smile is your rope.. so wrap it tight around your throat

School is out... yep, there actually was a light at the end of that long dreary beast of a tunnel known as school.
Here is to the summer.

Since school is over, I have recieved my annual yearbook. The hubub of yearbook signing has never been my cup of tea, but it is a necessary part of school life. I always take time to make sure that I leave a thoughtful comment in everyones book.. I want to be remembered as someone who gave a shit... I can't say the same for the people who signed mine.
Looking through the comments left in my book.. I noticed a trend.
The trend went as follows:
You're hot.
You're sexy.
I want you.
We should have sex.
Or a combo of the 4.

It's nice to know that all I am good for is a body.

eh, I'm over it.

I went to check on my little brother the other day (the one who I can't stand to be without). We had gotten out of school for exams, so I had plenty of extra time, and I knew he would still be in school. I went to the office and asked the ladies working in the office where I could find my brother... they looked at me puzzled, and then sent me to his room. I saw him for the first time in months. He is so tall... and has gotten so skinny. ( I doubt they feed him... i should call social services). He was soaking wet because he was playing in water outside with his friends. He came up to me and gave me a huge hug... GOD I miss those hugs... I didn't see him for very long before I had to go...I miss him so much.

I just cried about that.

Well I got home from seeing my beautiful baby boy... and recieved a call from the police telling me that I wasn't allowed to see him at school anymore. My BITCH of a mother called the police on me when she found out I saw him. WHAT may I ask is illegal about visiting your 5 year old brother at school? I feel powerless.

Some people simply don't have hearts... that bitch is one of those people.

Let's try to put it past us.

SO!! relationship status update:
Well much has happened... but I'm still not sure where I stand. Since I talked to you last... a fateful night in Madison threw me into some new experiences.. that I took full advantage of... and I seem to be reaping the benefits.... I also met a lovely girl through my friend Matt. She lives close by.. and is rather stunning.
And that is all I have to say about relationships.... the rest I will keep to myself...


Daniel James

Dealio Mc Shmealio

Yeah... Thought I'd give it a shot.

Grossly Dissapointed

A few things I am grossly dissapointed in:
-my mustard intake
-the amount of honey flavored peanut butter in my cupboard
-Burt's Bees Hand Salve
-disposable cameras
-my relationships

OK!, so on that note... here is the long awaited update

When I left you last... I'm really not sure what was going on... and I don't feel like checking either, so I'll just go back as far as I can remember.

My new brother came home from college before he darted off to basic training. He is rather amazing, and a lot of fun to hang with. I actually spent more time with him that his biological sister, which made me very angry.... she is actually making me quite angry lately since she doesn't seem to care about anyone else but her and her boyfriend. The day her brother was leaving for base camp (yesterday) instead of spending time with him, saying her goodbyes..... she had her boyfriend over, and ignored her brother.. BITCH!!!

My new job is amazing..... literally, practically, intensely amazing. I could not have asked for anything better. Everyone there loves me, and I love them in return (in that strange sort of not real love way). and thats all i have to say about that.

I normally write goals for every week I am in school. I don't usually tell people about them, but I did this week... and in doing so, I disappointed my shmirl. Among other things, this week i wanted to tell my friends how much I love them, I wanted to go tanning, and I wanted to find a girlfriend.
Yeah, so the last one might be a bit strange for a goal... but I feel the need to have someone permanent in my life, who cares about me...... and wants me (sexually and otherwise). I haven't been getting that from anyone else, and I am beginning to need it. a lot

My relationships tend to suck.. yeah, suck. Well.... not really suck.... but basically suck. Laying in bed with someone this weekend, I decided to unload some things that were on my mind.. I wanted to hear that I was the only one they wanted, have been with, and that I was still desired and cared about.... I sort of got that, but I also got the answer I was dreading to hear.
It's not really going anywhere, it never was going to go somewhere, and there is no point in trying to change it.... they have no feelings invested whatsoever
I knew all of this.... but I tried to deny it to myself... so that I didn't feel so much like a piece of meat that was used for sex.
TOO LATE!

And thats all you need to know for now... so fuck off.


Daniel James

Basically, Practically, Intense

Reach for the moon my sparkling boy,
and bring me back a star.

I miss my brother, no one really knows how much me means to me, and how much it hurts to not be allowed to see him. He was my world, the only reason I was able to make it through my days. I hope when he is old enough, he will wish to see me, speak with me, and still love me.... and the fact that I have to worry about that, makes me want to cry.

*sigh* Ok, I'm done with the depressing....

Today is my new sister's birthday. She turned 17. She cried this morning, and although I can sympathize with her on trivial obscurities.. I do not really feel bad for her at all. That probably sounds horrible. But now that I get to live somewhat of what she has been living, I think I am angry with her. Her family is perfect, and I don't see how she could have the audacity to complain. Never the less, it is her birthday, and she is a great girl. A beautiful, smart, amazing girl who never ceases to amaze me.

My AIM has a virus, and I cannot for the life of me delete it. I keep trying, in vain, but nothing is working. If I send you anything, don't open it... its just some fucking virus that I recieved from Sarah Langlois.

Relationship status: Do I ever really know?... no I don't. I am basically in one right now, but I'm not sure what exactly it is. That tends to be a sucky feeling, but I really enjoy seeing the person as much as I can.... so I do not want to try and ruin what we have with the infamous "what are we" line. Even though it would be nice to know. I go through random phases of thinking it could be something great, and perfect, and wonderful, mixed with total and utter happiness.... but then I slap myself across the face and make sure I realize that I am not what they want...

I don't really think I am what anyone wants. (I refer you to the last post, at the bottom: I am not beautiful on the inside)

School is almost over... heck yes.... heck.. YES!! And I am hoping to have a blast this summer... with all of my friends (the ones who haven't deserted me (so basically not the homo-be-straights))
I should be spending a lot of time working, but I will have plenty of time for all of the people that matter.

There is a dragon on the computer desk... yeah man, a dragon.
The word man belongs to a friend of mine.


Daniel James

A Wop Bop A...... Fuck You

WELL... prom happened. And despite the fact that I thought it would suck major ass... it didn't.

I arrived fashionably late... to perform my "courtly duty," which included standing around waiting for last years queen.... and then walking down the aisle with the beautiful Megaloo (who happened to win Prom Queen). After the coronation... we danced, we laughed... blah blah blah... good times.
So basically.... after prom we went to the whole post prom dealio-mc-schmealio.. and that was intense. Someone needed to take the mic away from Phetty... god help us all.

yadda yadda... tis not important henceforth.

OTHER THAN THAT...

My life has been going pretty well... Here is a quick rundown.
-My car is fixed.
-I got my birth certificate.
-I started my new job.
-Relationships are looking better.
-I love my new house

Yeah... basically. thats all.

...
Daniel James