Dealio Mc Shmealio

Yeah... Thought I'd give it a shot.

Grossly Dissapointed

A few things I am grossly dissapointed in:
-my mustard intake
-the amount of honey flavored peanut butter in my cupboard
-Burt's Bees Hand Salve
-disposable cameras
-my relationships

OK!, so on that note... here is the long awaited update

When I left you last... I'm really not sure what was going on... and I don't feel like checking either, so I'll just go back as far as I can remember.

My new brother came home from college before he darted off to basic training. He is rather amazing, and a lot of fun to hang with. I actually spent more time with him that his biological sister, which made me very angry.... she is actually making me quite angry lately since she doesn't seem to care about anyone else but her and her boyfriend. The day her brother was leaving for base camp (yesterday) instead of spending time with him, saying her goodbyes..... she had her boyfriend over, and ignored her brother.. BITCH!!!

My new job is amazing..... literally, practically, intensely amazing. I could not have asked for anything better. Everyone there loves me, and I love them in return (in that strange sort of not real love way). and thats all i have to say about that.

I normally write goals for every week I am in school. I don't usually tell people about them, but I did this week... and in doing so, I disappointed my shmirl. Among other things, this week i wanted to tell my friends how much I love them, I wanted to go tanning, and I wanted to find a girlfriend.
Yeah, so the last one might be a bit strange for a goal... but I feel the need to have someone permanent in my life, who cares about me...... and wants me (sexually and otherwise). I haven't been getting that from anyone else, and I am beginning to need it. a lot

My relationships tend to suck.. yeah, suck. Well.... not really suck.... but basically suck. Laying in bed with someone this weekend, I decided to unload some things that were on my mind.. I wanted to hear that I was the only one they wanted, have been with, and that I was still desired and cared about.... I sort of got that, but I also got the answer I was dreading to hear.
It's not really going anywhere, it never was going to go somewhere, and there is no point in trying to change it.... they have no feelings invested whatsoever
I knew all of this.... but I tried to deny it to myself... so that I didn't feel so much like a piece of meat that was used for sex.
TOO LATE!

And thats all you need to know for now... so fuck off.


Daniel James

Basically, Practically, Intense

Reach for the moon my sparkling boy,
and bring me back a star.

I miss my brother, no one really knows how much me means to me, and how much it hurts to not be allowed to see him. He was my world, the only reason I was able to make it through my days. I hope when he is old enough, he will wish to see me, speak with me, and still love me.... and the fact that I have to worry about that, makes me want to cry.

*sigh* Ok, I'm done with the depressing....

Today is my new sister's birthday. She turned 17. She cried this morning, and although I can sympathize with her on trivial obscurities.. I do not really feel bad for her at all. That probably sounds horrible. But now that I get to live somewhat of what she has been living, I think I am angry with her. Her family is perfect, and I don't see how she could have the audacity to complain. Never the less, it is her birthday, and she is a great girl. A beautiful, smart, amazing girl who never ceases to amaze me.

My AIM has a virus, and I cannot for the life of me delete it. I keep trying, in vain, but nothing is working. If I send you anything, don't open it... its just some fucking virus that I recieved from Sarah Langlois.

Relationship status: Do I ever really know?... no I don't. I am basically in one right now, but I'm not sure what exactly it is. That tends to be a sucky feeling, but I really enjoy seeing the person as much as I can.... so I do not want to try and ruin what we have with the infamous "what are we" line. Even though it would be nice to know. I go through random phases of thinking it could be something great, and perfect, and wonderful, mixed with total and utter happiness.... but then I slap myself across the face and make sure I realize that I am not what they want...

I don't really think I am what anyone wants. (I refer you to the last post, at the bottom: I am not beautiful on the inside)

School is almost over... heck yes.... heck.. YES!! And I am hoping to have a blast this summer... with all of my friends (the ones who haven't deserted me (so basically not the homo-be-straights))
I should be spending a lot of time working, but I will have plenty of time for all of the people that matter.

There is a dragon on the computer desk... yeah man, a dragon.
The word man belongs to a friend of mine.


Daniel James

A Wop Bop A...... Fuck You

WELL... prom happened. And despite the fact that I thought it would suck major ass... it didn't.

I arrived fashionably late... to perform my "courtly duty," which included standing around waiting for last years queen.... and then walking down the aisle with the beautiful Megaloo (who happened to win Prom Queen). After the coronation... we danced, we laughed... blah blah blah... good times.
So basically.... after prom we went to the whole post prom dealio-mc-schmealio.. and that was intense. Someone needed to take the mic away from Phetty... god help us all.

yadda yadda... tis not important henceforth.

OTHER THAN THAT...

My life has been going pretty well... Here is a quick rundown.
-My car is fixed.
-I got my birth certificate.
-I started my new job.
-Relationships are looking better.
-I love my new house

Yeah... basically. thats all.

...
Daniel James