Skanks

Dude... I just got off of work... and I'm hella sore.

Yesterday, after I left work, I went straight to the Y..... when I was about to go downstairs, Vanessa and Brianna sidetracked me, and we all decided to go boating.

So we went boating... which was... HELLA SWEET, we went tubing and I worked on my tan and such... and then I tried my hand at wakeboarding

which is.. A LOT HARDER
than you would think...
and my arms hurt... LIKE HELLA

whatev, I was gonna work upper body anyways.

Kristin gets back today... but she gets back a lot later than I though she was going to.... which means that my fireworks plans are not working.

John is coming tonight (as far as I know)... and Kristin was supposed to join us and possibly my little brothers for a fireworks bonanza... WOO!

but yeah, I'm hungry..

I hold in my hand

a flower star
which I plucked from the garden sky
with the intention of sharing it with you..............



I'm in a thoughtful mood.
no, I'm tired.

I'm tired of this...of this day to day bullshit... something is missing, and i just cant put my FUCKING finger on it..... at times, it pisses me off.

I lay here, watch T.V. , and just think...
and thinking is highly overrated... I don't know what I'm thinking... there are so many things that are running through my head....I think about Seattle, I think about work, I think about myself.., I think about sex.... and everything and everyone that comes with it...

I want to get to Seattle... I just want to effing get there... I'm tired of bringing drama wherever I go.... why can't people just NOT talk about me...I mean... seriously, chill the fuck out... I don't know what I'm going to do to prevent it from following me to school in the fall, but I'll figure it out.

Everyone in this area knows EVERYONE... wtf.... I do NOT want to have sex with you people.. I don't find it attractive that you're all TRASH .. you all are NOT as attractive as you think you are... ew, effing sick.... I need to get the hell out of Wisconsin

I am going to miss very few people... am I cold hearted? yeah.. get the hell over it

GAH! I hate homos... all of you stupid queeny boys... leave me the fuck alone... I have dealt with PLENTY of super homo queens.. trust me.., if I wanted that, I would still be with it.... you don't have a CHANCE IN HELL.... so give it up

I want dark hair... I just buzzed my hair... and I wanted to dye it dark, but I caved and stayed blonde again.... BOO!

this place is nice... things are fine I guess... John is perfect

I want another tattoo really bad...I'll get it before I leave


I pulled this flower star from the garden sky
and now I place it in your hands...........

This table has taken a turn for the worst.

Rock bottom and over the edge
well it's not like it hurts that much anyway.
Upside down and inside out.
When I leave here I'm going alone.
Well it's not like it, not like it hurts much anyway

I'm sick... and it sucks.. because it sucks to be sick.. but it also sucks because my ilness is preventing me from seeing the person that I want to see the most right now.. boo.

I partied a lot this weekend.. and that was fun.. some VERY interesting things happened on Saturday night... and I can't write about them on here, but rest assured... you're missing out on some Grade A gossip...

haha.....

I'm getting muh hurr did in a little bit.. and I'm sort of excited.. hopefully it will look amazing.. speaking of hairs... My friend Meg cut/colored/styled Kristin's sister's hair, and it looks amazing.. (but anna is amazing anyways)

Kristin is in Canada... BOO!.. that's about all i have to say about that.

Seattle is rapidly approaching... and I'm starting to get slightly nervous.. I mean, I'm going away.. far away from everything I have ever known... I'm excited to meet new people, see new places.... be the new guy.. but I guess i just get nervous sometimes.. :-/

boo.

I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar....

Than be broken by a lover I don't understand.....
'cause I don't understand..

you know i've been unfaithful
with lovers in lines
while you're turning over tables
with the rage of a jealous kind


I went to see John last night... and it was utterly amazing in every form of the word. I forgot how much I missed him, and how much I love being with him. I forgot how beautiful he was.

We watched hockey (our team lost... sucks)... and talked about everything.... It seems he knows some new guy who keeps asking him rather suspicious questions... and if my assumption is correct... it's really funny. ha.

Then we went to bed... and watched some south park and whatnot... and we had been in his room for about an hour when the police knocked on his door... random?
Well John comes back from talking to the officer, and pulls a shotgun out from under his bed and loads it... why?.... because the officer told him that some guy had been snooping around outside of his house, trying to look into the windows... WTF!!?
I have my own assumptions as to who it is, based on some other information we talked about... and if it's true.... it's not only funny, but this person is more fucked up than I thought.. haha.

Then we talked for a while longer, and he fell asleep in my arms... beautifulness. :)

*almost forgot.... Rau called me last night in her man voice... and it was amazing*

I had an amazing night... with an amazing person, and I can't wait to go back.

mood? SUPER PSYCHED!

This battle

is taking a turn for the worse....

Wow... there is so much that has happened in the last few days, it's insane....

I have been partying my ASS off... and loving it.. I haven't stopped partying since I graduated.... and I think it's time to take a break..
We're going out tonight, so I figure I'll wait until Wednesday to settle down.

HELL.. I'm moving to Seattle at the end of the summer... and it's so much fun to be crazy for a while... I deserve it. I've been having a great time with all my new found freedom... chilled with a few people... but that's all that I want right now...

Doesn't mean I'm opposed to chillin with the same person for the whole summer..... wellllllll haha..

I have been meeting so many amazing new people lately... and I almost can't handle it.. I didn't know this many nice people existed in the world...

I'm thinkin of visiting John tomorrow.... and I'm super psyched.... should have been with him all along.

gradu-what!?

GRADUATION!

So, I graduated yesterday... and it pretty much kicked so much ass that I can't even handle it.

Yesterday morning we had "rehearsal" at like 11:30 at Monterrey. So our friend John had all of us meet at his house, and walk together. Well the place filled up pretty quickly, and we all sat there in John's living room chillin and talkin about the year and trash talkin the trash....it was beautiful.

Then we all walked to Monterrey, and sat on the bleachers and whatnot. The sun was BLAZING the entire morning of the "practice"... and it was the most ridiculously long thing I have ever experienced...
Our entire class got sunburnt... it was glorious.

Then Kristin, Tiffany, and myself all went to the Olive Garden for lunch. This was our little celebration for ourselves... I mean, we were actually graduating... Kristin and Tiffany decided to fill me in on all of the people who talk about having sex with me.... interesting eh?

So after that... Kristin and me went to the mall to GET MY NEW PHONE.... it's pretty much a beautiful thing. Since I got a credit card a while back, it seems I have good enough credit to get my own 2 year plan and whatnot.... so that was super exciting... I needed a new phone for Seattle anyways.... and my new phone is pretty much beautiful... it's this black razor thinger... and I really havent figured it out yet... but I'm working on it.

Then I got back to the house..... and the lady I live with gave me 100 DOLLARS... wtf?... and then her mom gave me 25 bucks.... holy crap... that's so effing nice. I showered, got ready.. blah blah.. then Kristin came over and we took pictures of us and whatnot... then we BOLTED to graduation.

The Graduation ceremony went well... I sat next to Bolinski and Leslinator... pretty much kicked ass.. Then afterwards I was walking back into the building.. and NOAH and JON gave me high fives... I almost cried... it was amazing. Then I got back to the huddle of people, and took pictures and things. My step-mother came with Dillon and Alex... along with my father and my G-ma...so I took pictures of them.. and my Grandma gave me 100 bucks... pretty sweet.
I found Jon and Noah and hugged them and took pictures of them.. (Noah lost his first tooth!).. and my mother was there with her husband... they didn't say a word to me... I bet it was best that way.

And then... I turned and saw him.. I had asked him to come... but for some reason I doubted he would be there... John came... The amazing person that IS John (not the crazy John... the beautiful John)... he was just standing there waiting for me. So I walked over to him and he gave me a big hug..... I was so happy to see him. He had to leave early, so I hugged him goodbye and went off to finish pictures.

THEN he called and joined Kristin, Anna, Abby, and some asian girl at Culvers.. afterwards we talked by his car... he's still just as nice as he has always been.... He made my day... :-)

After Culvers, Kristin and me picked up some friends to hang with, and proceeded to have a great end to the night of graduation..

good day... :)

In a nutshell

J-Will someone please call a surgeon, who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
that you're deserting.... for better company.
I can't accept that it's over, and I will block the door like a goalie tending the net.. in the third quarter, of a tied game rivalry..
So, just tell me how to make it right..... I swear I'll do my best to comply.

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together...

D-I feel I must interject here, you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
with these revisions, and gaps in history..... so let me help you remember, I'll make charts and graphs that should finally make it clear... I've prepared a lecture, on why I have to leave.
So, just back away and let me go....

J-I can't my darling, I love you so... oh oh

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together...

D-Don't you feed me lies about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures...

J-I know that I have made mistakes... but, I swear I'll never wrong you again.

D-You've got a lure I can't deny.... but, you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye.



It's a song... but I think it pertains.

Good day

Alright... so it is Saturday... which means that I have the entire day to do as I please.

Yesterday was my last day of school....and although I expected it to be this big, amazing feeling... it wasn't. I don't even feel like I'm finished.
And I fought with Kristin.. and that always makes me feel like crap...

We fight about stupid things.... and normally it's just because one of us is really stressed out.

This time I think we both were.

I GOT MY STUFF FROM THE CRAZY BOY!!!

sure, I had to call the police....but the important thing is that I got my stuff.
and I never,
ever,

EVER

have to talk to him again....... such a good feeling

I really need to take a shower..

and then I am going to my cousins grad party... woot!

and there is this person... who is generally amazing...
and makes me really happy... :)
so hopefully that works

Relief

WOW...

it feeeeels so good. So amazingly good.

a weight is off of my shoulders forever.

driving back was the best feeling ever... almost insane.



and then if that wasn't enough.. the rest of the night rocked.

FINALLY DONE WITH THIS