A few things I am grossly dissapointed in:
-my mustard intake
-the amount of honey flavored peanut butter in my cupboard
-Burt's Bees Hand Salve
-disposable cameras
-my relationships
OK!, so on that note... here is the long awaited update
When I left you last... I'm really not sure what was going on... and I don't feel like checking either, so I'll just go back as far as I can remember.
My new brother came home from college before he darted off to basic training. He is rather amazing, and a lot of fun to hang with. I actually spent more time with him that his biological sister, which made me very angry.... she is actually making me quite angry lately since she doesn't seem to care about anyone else but her and her boyfriend. The day her brother was leaving for base camp (yesterday) instead of spending time with him, saying her goodbyes..... she had her boyfriend over, and ignored her brother.. BITCH!!!
My new job is amazing..... literally, practically, intensely amazing. I could not have asked for anything better. Everyone there loves me, and I love them in return (in that strange sort of not real love way). and thats all i have to say about that.
I normally write goals for every week I am in school. I don't usually tell people about them, but I did this week... and in doing so, I disappointed my shmirl. Among other things, this week i wanted to tell my friends how much I love them, I wanted to go tanning, and I wanted to find a girlfriend.
Yeah, so the last one might be a bit strange for a goal... but I feel the need to have someone permanent in my life, who cares about me...... and wants me (sexually and otherwise). I haven't been getting that from anyone else, and I am beginning to need it. a lot
My relationships tend to suck.. yeah, suck. Well.... not really suck.... but basically suck. Laying in bed with someone this weekend, I decided to unload some things that were on my mind.. I wanted to hear that I was the only one they wanted, have been with, and that I was still desired and cared about.... I sort of got that, but I also got the answer I was dreading to hear.
It's not really going anywhere, it never was going to go somewhere, and there is no point in trying to change it.... they have no feelings invested whatsoever
I knew all of this.... but I tried to deny it to myself... so that I didn't feel so much like a piece of meat that was used for sex.
TOO LATE!
And thats all you need to know for now... so fuck off.
Daniel James
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1 comment:
The shmirl was not disappointed. The shmirl was having a heinously crappy day that day.
When the shmirl heard that you wanted to find a girlfriend, the only thing that made her sad was the fact that she really wanted you to be happy, and she didn't want you to end up with some lame-o girlfriend and never see the shmirl again. The shmirl was being selfish and she's sorry.
The shmirl cares about you more than you know, and she just wants to see you happy and not always having to go through hard times. The shmirl just wants to always be the one to be there for you when you need someone to talk to. She has never found so much happiness in making someone happy before she became such good friends with you.
Okay, enough with that third person crap.
You're my best friend, Danny, and I love ya.
And I'm sorry for eating your empanada. (I owe you!)
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